Hi
I'm a loser
Wrecked my future uprooted and chased all based on a rumor
Spent all my time doing projects on the side
Like everything and anything except what I was there for
And what was I there for? Well music
If you think you're worth more then prove it
It's not very likely if taken lightly
You'll ever be much more than what you might be

Too scared to stay in the place I left home to be
Lived miles away and decayed in the process
See when I reassured you it was only conversation
Thought I was progressing
But I'd abandoned myself in a cell where nobody can help
Stay still may as well
I can't do anything else
When I wake up in the morning and I kind of want to die
I wonder why I didn't wonder why

Broken alone with frozen bones
I'll come back to that later, but for the moment
Assume I was in pain every day
To the extent instruments I can no longer play
And although that did get in the way
I didn't have to let it dominate
My life and every decision I made
But for now I'll say

I can't concentrate with you in my hair
Maybe that's really why I keep you here
So gimme your shoulder then it's all over
The nagging voice just disappears
In the midst of complications I've so many reasons
Just to be forgiven for spitting nothing but hot air
Forget about creation
There's no better way than instant gratification

Give me all the heartbreak hand me all your trauma
I'll lap up the chaos drink on down disorder
Think I will be useless hanging with a partner
Gimme some excuses the more I got the better
If I'm alone tonight then I guess I'm gonna cry
Can't be expected to write
Now I've rented out my mind

I know I look healthy but I'm always sick
I've got a condition and it's chronic
It affects my whole body, but mostly it's doing things with my hands where it stops me
It comes and goes but increasingly seems to want to spend more time with me
And the thing is you have to understand
Most jobs require you to use your hands

No I can't explain it doesn't have a name
Anything I say just sounds kinda lame
Never gonna get it isn't that a shame
If I can't work then I don't get paid
What about benefits maybe there's a way
Well here's my best efforts relayed
Did you check the mail?
Yeah, we can't help you, on the scale
Of disabled we've decided that

You're able to hold a conversation therefore
You're a faking patient no more
What you want a doctor to confirm
Sshould they stalk my in home
Shred my reference if I wash my hair alone
So you sometimes can't walk always can't write
Pain's so bad you're kept awake at night
Need a thousand to adaption to use a device
Like a computer
Fuck my life

But maybe you're right
Gotta help myself in this uphill climb
Cos I can't rely on anyone else to be by my side
Got my eye on this tide getting closer every time
Can't change the past, what's done is done
But now it's time to take the plunge
Pray for the best put myself to the test cos

I can't stop now I have to change,
Even though I am afraid
Because I know I've got no choice
Might lose my fingers
But not my voice